Miserable
by Tail and taiL
Summary: It's not the goodbyes that hurt, it's the flashbacks that follow.


Miserable

* * *

He looked at them from above . He tried to force a smile but he couldn't. Jellal stopped looking down and lifted his head. He couldn't let his tears fall. He just couldn't.

* * *

" Mother , " a blue haired girl asked. " where are we going ? "

_I ...I don't know._

" To your father's. " Erza answered . " Put on your raincoat. "

" But.. " the girl looked at the sunny blue sky.

" It will rain. It definitely will."

_It will . I know . It just will._

* * *

The tears filled his eyes and his vision became blurry. Then , a droplet of water escaped from its container and fell down. The rest of it started to follow.

* * *

" Mother , " the little girl chirped. " You are right ! It starts to rain ! "

Erza faked a smile. _You crybaby._

" Why don't you wear a raincoat ? Or else you will get wet and get sick ! " the little girl was worried.

Erza bowed down and patted her head. " Your mother isn't that weak , don't you agree ? " The girl nodded and smiled cheerfully. " Mummy is the strongest ! "

_But still wasn't strong enough to protect him._

" Come on , we are near. " Erza turned away her head . She grabbed her daughter's chubby hand and continue walking.

The scarlet haired knight walked forward and saw a grave. His grave. Jellal 's grave. The grave of her beloved husband. There were no exaggerate decorations, no ostentatious designs. The only carving on the grave was his name. Erza knelt, wiping the dust on it.

_Hey. Long time no see._

" Hi father. " the little girl waved at the grave. " Father... is a stone block ? " she turned to her mother.

Erza shook her head and pointed to the sky. Her daughter tilted her head as she looked at the sky. Raindrops fell on her face and she realized that the reason for her mother to point at the sky. Her father was gone. She lowered her head and kept silence.

_Why ? You always keep your promises. Why did you leave ?_

* * *

_" It 's a dangerous trip , and I may die at any moment. " Jellal fake sighed . "I don't want to. "_

_" You are such a coward." Erza teased. " Maybe I should go and protect Edolas' biggest coward. "_

_The king put his palm on Erza's stomach. " Oh , you cannot put these two into risk, " he grinned " they are so precious. The future prince and princess of Edolas. "_

_Erza slapped away his hand playfully. " Who is the future prince and princess ? They are just my kids. "_

_" OUR kids. " Jellal looked at his queen lovingly. " Thank you , Erza." Erza smirked. " Whatever. " _

_" Hope I can get back before you give birth. I want to witness this amazing moment." Erza laughed. " You call that amazing ? It's tiring and painful. Hope you will not have the chance of seeing my ugly face."_

_" Only if I am dead. I am not missing the chance of seeing the strong knight crying in pain. " the mocking look on his face grew as he continued. " I promise."_

_Erza tried to slap him, but Jellal caught her in the hand. " Since when you have become a sadist ? " Jellal shook his head. " I am serious at the last part. "_

_But Erza burst into laughter. "You... haha...you looked so hilarious when you are serious... haha... damn it." Jellal smiled at his wife and kept silence._

_Erza soon stop her laughing and looked at Jellal. "Oh. You... have to go, right ? ".He nodded . " See you soon , then. " Erza turmed back and walked away._

_"Hey ! " he called out." I love you. " Erza didn't stop or turn around. Instead she lifted up her hand and waved. " Yeah, I know."_

_Jellal sighed to himself. Pouring her heart out and saying I love you didn't suit her. But he knew . He always knew. " Goodbye Erza."_

* * *

Erza remained silence. The rain was heavier, and she instructed her daughter to hide under a tree. The girl followed . She was a still a bit worried , but it seemed that her mother loved the rain, so she wouldn't stop her. It wasn't the first time . Soaking in the rain, Erza stared at the lifeless stone in front of her. _Five years._

_" ' _Only if I am dead. ' ? No. This is wrong. You promised. You promised ! How could you... ? I have been waiting for you, and you let me down. How could you ? You said you were serious ! So you have to be serious ! You should have kept your promise, but you didn't ! I don't care , no matter you are dead or not , I don't care ! You just have to keep your promise ! How could you ... do that to me ? "

Ignoring the pouring rain , Erza took a deep breath and continued. " You said you love me ? Really ? Then why did you leave ? Why did you abandoned me ? Don't you want to see your children ? Don't you want to see our children ? Now you just leave us behind and I have to raise them my own. You irresponsible man ! You... are killing me .You know what ? I used to have the idea of suicide. Not that I want to join you or something. But when I think of how irresponsible you were, I know I would never leave them. "

" Are you alright ? Is mother angry ? "The little girl walked out of the tree and stayed close to her mother. Erza soften her grip on the grave and shook her head. The girl pulled her long wet scarf ." Mother... will father come back ? " Her little girl suddenly asked. " I want to see him. "

Erza frowned as she looked in those sincere eyes. She bit her lip and lied. " Of course . Of course he will ! Your father won't leave us , oh he would never do that to us. " The girl smiled in satisfacation.

Erza felt the urge to cry. _I am sorry. I really am. He won't come . I know . Please don't blame your father. It's not his fault. He wanted to come but he couldn't. _

_Jellal. I don't love you. Hear that ? I don't love you. So you are suppose to come back and tell me , how you love me , and make me , love you again. So please, come back...we need you... I need you..._

* * *

The blue haired man wiped his tears and exhaled.

* * *

" Mother ! The rain stopped ! "

Erza shook off the water on her, and turned her head. The clouds still got its depressing colour. She tried to reach them, they looked as they were so close and near. But when she noticed the how far the distance was, she drew back her hand in desperate. For the first time in five years, she cried. She sounded like a injured beast, roaring in anger . She had been strong for a long time,in fact, she had been strong for too long.

_I hate you._

Rays of sun peeked behind the clouds and lighten the gloomy place.

_Warm ...?_

She stopped crying as a strand of sunlight touched her face. Then she realized.

She raised her hand up again, and now she could see - the warm light that she was holding in her palm looked so pretty,it reminded her of hope and her children. It reminded her of him.

For the first time in five years, she smiled , truly smile.

_I love you._

* * *

He watched at her from above, and he smiled, truly smiled as he saw the sun dried up her tears.

_Yeah, I know._

* * *

Sorry if OOC .I used a quote in the internet for the summary ( that quote is for Gray ). Thanks for reading.


End file.
